OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Randomize
