I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
