hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
