We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
