no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
