how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
