I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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