I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
