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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
