can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
