Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
