Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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