Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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