Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
