omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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