i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
