I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
