Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
