I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize