your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
