got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
