Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize