On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
