Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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