You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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