i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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