Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize