so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
