i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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