nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize