He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
