go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
