Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize