We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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