me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
