you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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