Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Randomize