someone threw a dead crab at me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
