Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
