I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize