I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
