it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
wow bdsm is so cute
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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