ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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