in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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