He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
smell my finger.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
