I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
