She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
