Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
