That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize