Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
