i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
