The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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