Me too!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
