How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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