I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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