i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
