Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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