i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
