Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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