Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We left an ass print on the piano.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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