is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
