So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
