Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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