How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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