Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
