You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
