I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's just like the Real World with babies
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize