My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
